Chitra, your reflections on the spiritual journey are deeply moving, especially the persistence through dry chanting and the raw honesty about anger on the path. Embracing the ‘parrot phase’ with the mantra as a symbol of devotion, even without constant inspiration, illustrates the strength in continued effort despite emotional highs and lows. The humility in surrendering to your Guru and enduring ego's trials sheds light on a path many resonate with but rarely articulate. Thank you for sharing these intimate lessons; they’re a reminder that the journey to the Divine often demands resilience and trust.